The last few months I feel as if I have been walking around blind, without much direction. The future seems so far off it's blurred, and my ambitions are hazy at best. News flash Chrissy: the future you've been putting off is now...when are you going to wake up. When is life going to slap me across the face and say "Listen, things have changed. Why don't you accept it instead of walking around on auto-pilot for another few months." When do we get to the point where our minds realize things are different instead of faking some sort of false past reality?

Why in the back of your head you are so terrified of rejection, it's worth the risk of never letting anyone in. Masking all of it with cracking jokes and alcohol only keeps anyone from realizing there is something going on. You get so used to tricking everyone, after awhile you begin to fool yourself. And then you forget what is reality.