5 weeks

Until the end of the year. 2010 will finally be over. This whole year, this awful, horrible year, all I've wondered is how did I get here? What have I turned myself into?

"The times that you feel like you've fallen from grace"

Why do I have such a hold on how I want my life to go. And surrender everything I believe in when things don't go as I planned. It made me completely aware of how capable I am of screwing life up.

The times you doubt me. When you can't feel.

The times that you question, "Is this for real?"

Good things did happen this year. But when your worst nightmare comes true, when you literally feel you've walked through hell, when you want it to end. your heart changes.

And despite that I've gotten better, I know I still have a long way to go. But I can't wait until this year is finally over.